I think I can definitely rule out children's services as a viable career path.
I think it was Carn's (Jewish) labmate who once griped (in response to parental pressure): "Jews have no problem with abortion. They think you should be able to abort a fetus up until the point it graduates from med school."
All that said, I'm hugely in favor of safe surrender laws, and I can see why one might want an anonymizing factor therein.
Oh, I agree. It's far better than chucking a baby in a dumpster, and anonymity makes the parents feel like they're not going to be tracked down and charged with abuse or neglect.
But by the time they're three? The process needs to be a little less "drop the kid off and run like hell in the other direction" and a little more "go through an actual adoption process and find a pair of suitable parents". If nothing else, it's really shitty to the kid.
I believe we agree. I was talking about the actual safe-surrender laws applying as intended to newborns.
Awesome! Also, this gives me hope for adopting an adorable Japanese Go-playing genius kid one day.
In a less satirical, snarky vein, I think I tend to stand further on side of 'parental rights to give up their child' than most people. I don't think an anonymous drop box is the way to do it once the child is old enough to have a good sense of self-awareness (and three is definitely past that age), but -- here, at least; I don't know about Japan -- it seems to be nearly impossible to adopt out your child once it's not an infant. I can't help wondering how many horrific abuse -- or child-murder -- cases would have been avoided if we as a society were more accepting of the idea that some people can't handle parenthood, AND that they don't always know that before the child is born.
Yeah. The reason I think the dad's an asshole is not that he didn't want to have a kid anymore (for whatever reason), but that he chose that method to dispose of a three-year-old. You have it exactly right with the idea of "self-awareness" - a kid at that age will understand that he's being abandoned, and will probably be more frightened and affected than a newborn being dropped off.
I find it odd that it was a male child being dropped off. I know it's more common for China to prize male children and abort/abandon female babies, but I always understood misogyny to be a prevailing Asian cultural theme (one that is getting better, but still present).
Guess he was a real little shit.
Or maybe the dad was incapable of being a decent parent to either gender and decided he'd rather not have to deal with the kid anymore.
I agree that a random child dropped off is far more likely in general to have been a girl, but that doesn't mean we need to attribute misogynist attitudes to this particular person...
Oh no, I certainly wasn't trying to pin it down that way. I'm sure there were extenuating circumstances--perhaps the mother was no longer around and the father couldn't handle a kid.
I wonder if the mother WAS around and knew the father was doing this, though, and what his reasoning was. I support anonymous baby drops--mothers that CAN'T take care of their kids make sure the kids get a good life, and parents that WANT to drop of their kids wouldn't make healthy parents anyway--but three years is a long time to decide you can't support a child. I'm going to log my vote for extenuating circumstances, but am curious as to other reasons for this to happen.
You know, I hadn't really thought about that, but I am rather curious about the mother. It seems like an odd situation for a father to be in - it's usually the mothers who have to deal with unwanted kids.
Without knowing about the circumstances, it's really hard to say, though. The mother dying (or otherwise running away) and the father realizing he can't deal with it on his own does seem to be relatively likely, given that. When you have two people involved in a decision process, the results tend to be a lot more rational and a lot less rash.
I feel a little guilty for laughing... but all I could think of was my parents using that as a scare tactic: "If you don't get over here this instant, we are going to march you right down to the drop box and stuff you in! So, scoot!"
My mom used to threaten to put me up for adoption when I was being a horrid little brat.
Looking back on it, it's really funny. Nowadays such threats would be the cue to call in CPS, though.
Haha- I was adopted, so they couldn't use that threat on me :D Made my life easier. However, I do remember getting awfully irritated at a parent when I was working retail who kept threatening her children that she was going to leave them behind. I don't think I'd bat an eye these days, but maybe I was just having a sensitive day or something. Or maybe it was just that I didn't want the parents leaving their kids in my store :)
I laughed and I like kids.
However to all the people handwringing about how bad this is I think the father found the best way to prove he is unfit as a parent. He thought it was appropriate to leave a three year old in an infant incubator as a way to start an adoption process.
What's a current email address for you? :D
My username at gmail is my usual one these days.